I would love to be a contestant on The Block. I reckon my husband and I could have a real crack at it, and we'd have a ball doing those challenges. Meanwhile, I'm sure Scotty Cam and Shelly Croft would lap up the little rays of sunshine our personalities would bring. Wouldn't they?.
But I just know that we could never really apply for the show - apart from the fact that I'd have to find someone to offload the baby to for however many months...yeah sure.
1. I would have to rise at 4am to wash my hair, and layer on makeup with one of the trowels lying around before the 6am shoot start - just in order not to terrify the poor fools who tune in every night for a bit of escapaism from the bitter reality of how we all look at 6am. Who am I to remind them?
2. I fear that the editing would inevitably showcase my harpy like badgering of my partner. Insert high pitched whine - 'Do this, do that, hurry up, stop wasting time' blah blah blah blah. I'd hate myself after the series.
3. The producers would be bitterly disappointed in our disinterest in bitching about the other contestants. 'So what do you guys think of the way the brothers are keeping their floor plan secret?' 'Well, good for them. We'll just run our own race' Crickets....producers exchanging looks, re-asking question to get a "better" response...
4. I don't look good in cargo shorts. And certainly not teamed with bludstone boots. So that's final.
5. Call me crazy but I can't imagine that I would cope well with death threats on a Facebook page, designed by complete strangers, specifically to criticise every tiny detail about me. Because that's what seems to happen to these poor reality tv contestants. Death threats?!? What is wrong with people...
So, my dream of winning a couple of hundred thou, and a fashion shoot in Woman's Day will remain on the pause button. That fifteen minutes of fame just doesn't seem worth it.